It's been a while since my big brother Niall gave us his very 'unique insight' into the housey things that us ladies love - important stuff like cushions and throws and such like ....... this one made me chuckle :)
I might add that the title of this blog was entirely of his doing ......
This week I thought I'd give you some idea of what a difficult life I have being related to Marie.
The trouble is that every now and again, I have to go and visit her!! I can tell you for nothing, it's lucky I know how to stand up for myself, otherwise I'd end up a jabbering wreck!!
I'll explain. You know most of we mere mortals live in "proper" houses? Well, she doesn't!! You really want to see her "gaff"! Imagine one of those picture shoots in a magazine, where everything looks like a filmset. Or the finished article at the end of a Grand Designs programme.
You know what I mean. After the couple has bankrupted themselves, gone over their budget by about 100%, and finally managed to complete the project about 9 months behind schedule. Then wotsisname goes back for a visit about a year later, and the place looks like a cross between Hollywood, Disneyland and a royal palace.
I'm not sure about you, but I don't think I've ever seen a Grand Designs where I didn't think - "Yeah, that would do for me". I certainly couldn't be asked to go through all the grief of getting the thing done, but I'm more than happy to let some other poor eejit do all the work, and then I'd happily move in!!
Right, now you've got some idea of what Marie lives in. At least she does until I come to stay. On the day I arrive, the place looks immaculate, and I'm almost (almost) afraid to touch anything in case I disturb the ambience. But then I remember "Nuts, she's only my little sister, for goodness sake"!!
Within 48 hours of my arrival, all the cushions (yawn) which were artfully decorating the chairs and my bed are now on the floor; empty coffee cups proliferate the kitchen (I live on the stuff, and she just can't keep up with me in trying to keep them clean - well I'm a guest, so I'm certainly not going to clean them; and I have two or three days worth of newspapers scattered tastefully around.
The place is a tip!! I love it!! I'm sure the poor girl ages visibly while I'm visiting, but I reckon I'm doing her a favour!!
Not necessarily by using her home as a hotel; or by not complaining if she's a bit slow in producing my dinner (incidentally, just so you know she's not perfect - cooking is not really one of her strongest assets - but she's REALLY good at heating up stuff from Marks); or by nicking her car every day and using it like a taxi until it runs out of petrol.
No, the favour comes in letting her see how real people live!!
I see it as my mission in life to remind her of how the poor relations (me) in this world live. A dog or a cat could do the job equally well, but that's never going to happen, so it's all down to poor old me, I'm afraid!!
I sometimes think of myself as being like Wayne Rooney's older, useless brother, who couldn't kick a ball if his life depended on it!! Every now and then, Wayne & Marie need to be reminded of how the rest of us live, and that they're definitely not the average ones!! It's either that, or I have to do some serious sucking up to "The Talent", and that certainly ain't going to happen!!
It's a hard life - but someone's got to do it!! And I'm sure that deep down (deep, deep down) she really appreciates all my efforts!!
PS I re-read this before I pinged it off to The Talent, and I reckon if I can get away with this one, then I can get away with anything. You have been warned!!
Only me again Ladies .....
Boy is he skating on thin ice with this one :) And if you saw our home at the minute, I'm afraid there is more than a touch of "reality" to it - house work beckons !!!