I gather several of you enjoyed the 'Venus/Mars' musings by my big brother Niall - so I persuaded him to do another one for us .... read on :)
This week I had planned on giving you a shot by shot account of my latest round of golf - which was brill by the way, and which would have had you on the edge of your seats. Unfortunately for you, however, Marie instantly vetoed that idea.
"No one would be interested". "I get enough of that nonsense from himself, every weekend". "It's certainly not going on my blog". "And.....". "Plus.....". "Anyway.......". Pheeow! You'd have thought I'd proposed declaring cushions a Class A drug, and making them illegal!!
So then I started thinking when and why do women start taking no interest in the really important things in life?? Not just my latest round of golf, but golf generally. And cricket. And footie. And motor racing - you know, the important stuff!! And Science Fiction films!! And proper books!! And good TV programmes (sorry girls, Pride & Prejudice, Strictly and X Factor are not the only things on telly worth watching!!)
Just to give you a couple of examples of what I mean - I remember years and years ago thinking it would be nice if my wife & I could spend our dotage playing golf together (I told you it was a really, really long time ago, when I was still young and naïve). So after she's had a few lessons, we set off on our first game together. She lasted about seven holes, at which point she chucked her clubs at me, said "this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life", and she'd wait for me in the bar!!
Ok, so that might have been me being a tad optimistic, but it's certainly not just me and 'er!! My son is at that lovely stage in a new relationship with a delightful young lady where nothing is too much trouble, and they want to share lots of new experiences together. So, of course, when the new Star Trek film was released, he was off to see it within the first week, and she went along with him, "to share the experience".
Same thing as my wife and the golf!! The boy watched the film totally engrossed, while she lasted about 15 minutes, before retreating back to the car, and playing with her phone!!
And as if that wasn't bad enough, when the film eventually came out on DVD, and he was first in the queue to buy it, she still didn't want to watch it!! Unbelievable!!
And it's the same with TV programmes. My wife has no interest, whatsoever, in music, but still watches X Factor avidly. When I kindly point out that this latest wannabe is a complete waste of space, who can't hold a note to save their life, I am informed, in no uncertain terms, that if I open my mouth one more time, I'll probably get her shoe rammed down my throat!! Heel first!!
But when I want to watch something important, like Top Gear, or the Masters, that's when she decides to get out the Hoover!! Excuse me??
So maybe now you can begin to appreciate just why we blokes fail to grasp the importance and significance of which cushions might look best when scattered artfully across the new three piece suite. If you can't get your heads around the stuff which interests us (that is, the really important stuff in life), then you've no chance of trying to get us interested in the minutiae of a bleedin' cushion or two!!
Ah well, I suppose we can only hope that you eventually come to your senses, but I'm not holding my breath!!
Anyway, back to my latest round of golf. My first shot was a lovely, long high draw, which pitched just right of centre, and rolled..........
Right that's enough of that nonsense. Normal service has been restored :)